all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Randomize
