the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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