i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize