your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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