I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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