So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
