Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
