I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
