so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
so much tequila, so little girl.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
