i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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