I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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