I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
