She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
