Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
