dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
