Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
