omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
So here I am, sexting at work.
I love you.
Bad choice
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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