That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
