you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I look better un-naked...
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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