Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
