I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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