we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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