Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
