Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
