I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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