So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize