And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
