how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
