I want to make a zoo with you.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Randomize
