She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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