I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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