He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
