The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
please don't ironically join a cult
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