i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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