i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
