I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize