i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize