You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
