she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
