At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
