Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
