the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
