Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
