I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Randomize
