Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
