Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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