So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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