This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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