You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
