I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
