We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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