I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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