Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
