My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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