You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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