ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
