No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
