she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
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