I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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