I think i peed on brittanys purse
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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