Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
How external is "for external use only"?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
