How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize
