just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
