Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
