drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
