We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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