It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
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